So yesterday I'm perusing one of my favorite sites, Fark.com, and there was an interesting link to an article about how the ocean is being fished to extinction.  This is nothing new.  The people on this planet insist on producing more babies than there are people dying.  If it isn't clear to you that we are going to destroy this planet, you're deluding yourself.  Everything we produce on this planet is in limited supply.  You thought there was a lot of corn?  Think again.. some dickhead said Ethanol was cool, and now they're talking about corn shortages.  Everything is running low.. let me say that again.  EVERYTHING is running low.  The only reason you don't hear it from anyone is that no one wants to strike fear into the world, when that is just what we need.  We need to IMMEDIATELY curtail all births of children to match the death rate, or only outpace just slightly.  Sound extreme?  Fuck you.  Let's wait until it's too late, when your children can't get jobs BECAUSE THERE ARE NONE.  We are all riding along on this happy Merry Go Round that the powers that be would have you think is there, when in fact we're riding the rollercoaster of destruction straight to hell.

So, where does Chilean See Bass and Bluefin Tuna fit into all of this?  Simply put, I don't give a fuck.  I wasn't one of those idiots who popped out 1, 2, or 15 kids, and needs to make sure the world is going to be a better place when I die.  Face facts.. the world IS NOT GOING TO BE A BETTER PLACE in the future.  So while I ride this rollercoaster to hell, I'm damn well going to enjoy the luscious buttery taste of Chilean Sea Bass, and I'm going to eat as much sashimi as I can afford while I have the chance.   The article on Fark mentioned the possibility of our fisheries being depleted by 2048.  We already subsidize the fishing industry with 14 BILLION a year.  I fully expect to be dead by 2048, so again, I don't give a fuck.  I really don't care if your kids are going to have it rough (which they surely will) in the future.  Not my problem.

We are going to run out of everything that currently makes the world tick tock... Have you already noticed how hard it is just to buy bullets for a gun thanks to the gun nuts freaking out over Obama?  This will happen to everything, and it's coming WAY sooner than you think.

If you happen by here at all and read one or two posts, you'll get the gist that I travel a lot for work (at least for now). Some areas I end up going to more than once, and I usually know what hotel I want to stay in and don't want to stay in. Hotels don't mean a whole lot to me. When I'm on the road I'm usually working 12hr days, then I go out to eat, end up at a bar, and go back to the room late to sleep. As long as the bed is more comfortable than my couch, I'm good. I don't have any particular loyalty to a brand, but I'm usually in Priority Club hotels just to collect more points (It's paying for 10 nights in Amsterdam coming up). But sometimes you get a hotel that is just right.. location, room, etc. There's a great Hilton Garden Inn right in Ybor City in Tampa, FL that I'm fond of. A Holiday Inn across from Bayside in Miami, another one in St. Paul that has a great Irish pub attached to it. The ones that have the combo of being in walking distance to good food and bars, and a good bed, give me those warm fuzzies. It's probably a strange thing to feel about a hotel, but when you stay in them for 6 months a year, it's nice to find one that has all the amenities I look for. This week I'm in Michigan, and I'm back at a Crowne Plaza that I've stayed at a few times before. In the past, they had a decent restaurant/bar onsite, and plenty of food/bar options within spitting distance. But I got a woody today when I found out that the No.IV Chophouse (a Matt Prentice Group restaurant) has taken the place of the bar. They now have a very upscale restaurant and bar there. I almost felt out of place in jeans. If you're ever in Novi, stay here, you won't be disappointed. 

So, I'm getting older. And, unfortunately, I look it. Salt and pepper in the goatee, a few stray grays in the do, wrinkles around the eyes. I'm not a 'moisturizer' or an 'Oil of Olay please stop me from looking older' kinda guy. When I was younger I would never have said this, but I'm much better now than I was in my 20's. It really is true that age and a little wisdom can make you a better person. So, I don't mind being in my, um, past middle age years. But there is one thing that is starting to bother me, and that is people calling me sir. Now, I don't mind the occasional 'Thank you sir' when buying something. What irritates me is young kids mostly. I'm a pretty polite person, and I'll hold the door open for you, but when some tweener says 'Thanks Sir', it just makes me cringe. And then, there's the people who are older, say, in their 30's, that call me sir. I know it's only a polite gesture, but man does it make me feel older than I am. Like I should be wearing a suit and tie and polished black shoes and a headful of gray hair. I lived in California for 25 years, and I still say 'dude' and 'bro', but I do use the occasional 'sir', especially in a professional setting, which is mainly my job. I guess it just comes with the territory. I wonder if I had one of those cool jobs where you got to wear flip flops, shorts, a concert t-shirt, sunglasses on your head, and you go surfing after work and look it, if they'd still call me 'sir'. I don't think I'll ever find that one out.

Well, it's Valentine's Day. When all male schmucks are supposed to by flowers for their sweeties. While it's nice to let your loved one know you care, you shouldn't be dictated to do so on a certain day, and if your significant other is one of those 'If you don't get me something I know you don't love me' types, dump that bitch as soon as possible. The best way to express your love is to do it when they least expect it.

Now, when it comes to Valentine's Day, I know a little about it, being in the flower industry. There's no shortage of dolts who wait until the 14th to order flowers, and of course they want them delivered, and of course they want it by a certain time. This is the single busiest flower day of the year for florists, and they will almost NEVER get your flowers there on time. A few suggestions for the idiots out there still tethered to a woman who wants flowers on V-Day. One, order well in advance. At LEAST a week. Two, don't specifiy a time. If you absolutely need them delivered to her place of work so everyone can see how fucking special she is, make sure your bitch is at work until at least 7pm. If you tell a florist they have to be there by noon, good luck, even if you DO order a week early. Lastly, make sure your order is going to a REAL FLORIST, and not some website you googled. If you want full value for your money, make sure you're ordering from a florist that has an actual building and does deliveries in the area you want. Ordering from a website is a sure way to NOT get what you ordered, and have it NOT get there when you want.

You have to expect the worst. That your flowers won't get there on time, or maybe not even on that day. If that happens, don't scream bloody murder at the florist. If you've never worked in a flower shop, you have no idea how crazy the week of V-Day is. Be prepared, and your honey should be also, that the flowers won't get there. If you're flowers are late or have to be postponed a day, just call the florist and they'll usually refund you the delivery fee, if not more (ie adding more flowers, an apology note from the florist that it wasn't your fault, etc).

Thankfully, my girl knows I DO NOT order flowers for V-Day delivery. She gets them at weird times, like a Tuesday in June, for no reason at all. It means a lot more, trust me, and the blow job you'll get after is totally worth it.

Well well well.. here we find ourselves in a new year. New prez, shitty economy, friends getting laid off, banks and other companies going out of business, the government choosing who to bail out, wars, wasting time on the internet.. etc.. etc.. Some things change, and some things remain the same.

Today's lesson will be in Abject Stupidity.

I had the unfortunate task this week to be in somewhere in the USA, where it shall not be named, due to the fact in involves my profession, and some people might actually look at this site. So, to protect the innocent, and I use that term loosely, all the exact details will be left out, but the moral is the same.

Now, let's say you have a computer. Let's also say that you think your computer sucks and you need a new one. Mr. 'Hi I Want Your Money At Any Cost' comes up to you and says he has a system that will spit gold at your feet. He gives you the slam dunk sales talk. Yes, it will do whatever you want it to do. You say 'Wow that's just what I need!'. Then you sign a contract. One that puts you in debt. Oh, and did I mention you're still paying for the one you think sucks? No, I didn't mention that? Well, I just did.

So now you're getting this new system that you have been told is the bomb. Some poor schmoe (not me of course) has to come to your place of business and put all the goodies in place. Then, you start using your new computer. You find out that you got a system that doesn't even use a mouse! You have to actually TYPE SHIT IN to make it do stuff. No more double click that icon and it performs the magic for you. No more click on Tools, then Options, then Run Reports. You start to freak. You can't find anything!! Where the fuck do I log on to my calendar! What's that you say? I have to push a series of keystrokes now to make this happen? Who designed this piece of shit!?!?! By day two you're thinking, what the fuck did I do to myself. You start hitting keys like they all do something everywhere, and if you press them enough, it'll work right. The person who set it all up keeps saying, 'There is a help key'. Well I didn't need any fucking help key before asshole!, you say. Day 3 and 4 roll on, and still they keep grabbing the mouse like it's gonna do something other than move that fancy pointer you downloaded off of some crapware site that installed shit you don't even know about. By the end of the week, you're a wreck. You've actually broken down in tears because this system isn't what was promised.

Did I mention you signed a contract?

One that says 'Yea, you're paying whether you like it or not'.

So, today's lesson. Don't buy shit sight unseen. When you buy a 30,000$ car, you at least test drive it. You read reviews about it (hopefully). When you go to a hotel in a place you've never been, hopefully you're checking reviews about it by people who have actually BEEN THERE DONE THAT! You don't travel to Amsterdam and hope you can get by without just a little RESEARCH!

If you decide otherwise, and you're disappointed, don't say I didn't warn you. I don't buy shit on NewEgg without reading the customer reviews, and searching Google for anything about it. I don't purchase a fucking FISHING LURE without knowing SOMETHING about it.

And that my friends, is the end of today's rant.

Now, back to my Guinness and double Jameson.

Thank you

Recently in Oshkosh, WI and decided to drive down to Milwaukee and catch a Brewers game. One of the stands inside sold this, their Colassal Bloody Mary. First, an excellent tasting Bloody Mary, but the skewer killed me. 4 massive olives, 2 pieces of white cheese ,a small piece of salami, and a pickle spear. I would go back to a game just for one of these.